Huwork

Category: Personal Growth

  • Anguishing over languishing

    From the NY Times to a Professor at Wharton, it seems many people are discussing the term “languishing”. Organizational psychologist Adam Grant defines languishing as “a sense of stagnation and emptiness.” Yikes! That’s no fun, but it’s a feeling that many are experiencing with the pandemic lock downs, resulting social isolation, and the ongoing mental toll of it all.

    Even as I type this, I feel a pit in my stomach as this term rings true for me too. Not all day, every day, but certainly with some regularity.

    Here’s my 1-2-3 coping mechanism to deal with my own up and down languishing state:

    1. AWARENESS: becoming aware of what I am feeling is a necessary first step. In other words, “Name it to tame it!” How can I change things if I don’t know what I need to change? 

    2. FOCUS: it may seem counterintuitive, but taking time to focus on that feeling and acknowledge it can help it dissipate. I especially find it helpful to focus on where in the body I feel that emotion. Then, get curious about the feeling – its qualities, texture, motion, and color. What might this physical feeling need at this moment? As Brené Brown says, if you are disembodied from your emotion, it only grows. Finally, implement some actions. For me, this includes leaving my house twice a day, getting out in nature once a day, and finding ways to connect with one of my peeps daily.

    3. REFINE: alas, there is no “one and done” with many feelings, such as languishing. So  I check in weekly, and ask myself “What will help this week?” Knowing it may look different than the week before, is very helpful.

    Can anyone else relate to this languishing feeling? If so, what are your coping mechanisms?

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • Chakras in the workplace

    While I was brought up in a traditional Indian household, the cultural aspects of our heritage were emphasized more than the religious ones. So it wasn’t until a yoga class in adulthood that I learned more about chakras. 

    Even to me, chakras sound a bit “out there”, but if we move beyond the esoteric term and just think about the ideas the chakras highlight, they are very much in line with HuWork’s philosophy of work being more human, and organizations having more human-centered practices in place. I would love to hear what you think.

    Each of the 7 chakras relates to a specific concept. I have added questions that pertain to the workplace for each:

    • TRUST: Is the work culture one of trust?

    • CREATIVITY: Do you have the ability to include some creativity in your work tasks, to make them your own?

    • WISDOM: Do you have a mentor and peers you can turn to for input? Are you continuously learning so you can provide wisdom to others? How can you create some space from the daily transactional “should do’s” to think about broader goals?

    • LOVE: What type of  energy are you bringing to your team? Are you finding the good in people and what went well, or always focusing on the negative?

    • COMMUNICATION: What is your communication style? Are you a GSD-kind of leader or more inspirational? Who do you want to be?

    • AWARENESS: Where are you on your career development?  What direction would you like to go?

    • ALIGNMENT: Is your workplace aligned with your values?

    Based on how you answered these questions, what’s one change that would have an enormous impact on your worklife? For me, I realize I have a gap in the wisdom category, specifically a male mentor. Anyone interested in that role? I promise reciprocity in knowledge, trust, and help.

    Warmly,

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family. If I can assist you on your path, please schedule a 20-minute call here. And don’t forget about my free open door OFFICE HOURS every Wednesday from 10-11am MT. All you have to do to attend is register here. The last two weeks have been lonely, so you’ll likely get 1:1 time for us to explore and brainstorm your particular situation.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • When less is more

    Pablo Picasso said art is the “elimination of the unnecessary.” However, most people will instinctually ADD versus SUBTRACT something. For example, if engagement is waning at work, a manager may increase the number of team meetings. While adding more can be a good thing (feel free to keep bringing home flowers S!)….when facing decision points, I’m starting to consider removing something as an alternative instead.

    I’m currently reading “Subtract” by Leidy Klotz, who makes a nice case for remembering that subtraction can be even more impactful than addition. In fact, I’m now a little obsessed with how life might improve with less: less complexity, less switching gears, less clutter, fewer obligations. Maybe even having fewer Clients, but going deeper with the ones that truly resonate. 

    And if the words “subtract”, “remove”, or “reduce” have a negative connotation to you, you’re not alone. Try substituting “reveal”, “clean”, “carve”, “create”, “construct”, or “streamline” to override a potential sense of loss. 

    If you want to learn more about the science and research behind our drive to add, check out this article.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • How to take the PULSE of a meeting

    Hallelujah! Warm weather has officially arrived in Denver, and I have a bad case of spring fever.  Zoom meetings definitely seemed more appealing when it was cold out. Whether you are attending a meeting online or (gasp!) in-person, do you sometimes feel you are on a different wavelength than the other participants? That maybe you are zigging, while others are zagging? I recently had this happen when I was zeroing in on the details of an upcoming workshop, while my business partner was looking broadly at the overall structure. In short, it got awkward. 

    I wish I had heard of Linda Liang’s PULSE method, to actively read a room when attending a meeting. I’ll be using her PULSE framework to “size up” the room from now on, and encourage you to as well. Don’t let its simplicity fool you. It’s a powerful, quick framework.

    P= What is the PURPOSE of the meeting/event? Is there an agenda? Is it buzzing, somber, joking, nervous?

    U= What is the UNDERLYING APPROACH? Is it focused on the details or the big picture? People or task oriented? 

    L= Is the meeting more LEADER-LED, with one person mainly talking, or TEAM ORIENTED, with people taking turns and equally contributing?

    S= Is the pace of the meeting SLOW OR FAST? 

    E= What are the EMOTIONS of participants? How are people looking and feeling? Are they quiet or talkative? What is the “tone” of the room, and what does it tell you? 

    To be more effective during meetings, aim to mirror the “style” of what is going on. Clearly, I missed the “U”, or “underlying approach”, part of this framework with my business partner. In hindsight, it would have been helpful to discuss expectations for our discussion and make sure we were aligned. I’ve already found Linda’s PULSE framework uber-helpful. Try it out yourself and let me know if it helps you as well.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • Using LOVE to connect

    On Friday, HuWork is hosting a round table on Coffee and Conversation: Make Work More Human, to explore what it takes to be a more human-centered organization. We’ll talk about behaviors and practices that are going well in your organization, and things that you’d like to see changed. If you are interested, sign up ASAP as we only have 3 more spots available.

    One tenet of being more human at work involves an emotion people don’t always associate with work: LOVE. By love, I’m referring to our underlying motivation and sense of connection with other human-beings at work. I translate this LOVE at work into three core values: SERVE, LEARN, and CONNECT:

    1. SERVE: This is about our mindset: How can I come from a place of service vs. my own agenda?

    2. LEARN: How would learning something, whether it’s from books, articles, or conversations, increase the value and experience I can provide to others? What can I share with others to spread the love and ease their path? Can I make an introduction or share a resource?

    3. CONNECT: How can I build a more H2H or human-to-human connection with everyone, even people at work? How can I look beyond the task and focus on building a meaningful, reciprocal relationship?

    I invite you to take HuWork’s Human Factor Assessment to highlight the areas where you and your company are shining and think about changes to consider putting in place – whether you are working as a people manager, an individual contributor, or influencing change as an HR leader or consultant.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • Manage your sticky situations

    Business management pioneer Peter Drucker’s philosophy was “before you can manage anyone else, you have to manage yourself first.” I come across this so often in leadership coaching sessions, that I refer to it as a person’s “sticky situations.” Sticky situations are ones where you are not showing up as your best self, ones where you feel stuck, and ones that unfortunately repeat themselves. 

    Some sticky situations I have heard from Clients recently include: getting stuck when pitching an idea to senior leadership, not stepping up to make a decision when the boss isn’t in the room, and keeping emotions in check when being asked hard questions about the team’s performance.  

    These sticky situations hold my Clients back from being the leader, team member, and human they have the potential to be. Here’s one process I utilize in Client sessions to get to the other side of these sticky situations:

    1. Identify your most prominent sticky situation 

    2. Identify the opposite situation, where you are “flowing” and able to show up as your best self

    3. Understand the parameters that allow you be your best self

    4.  Recreate those parameters for your sticky situations

    For example, if a sticky situation for you is pitching an idea to senior leadership, think of times when you are able to pitch your idea with full confidence and charisma. For one client, he realized he was able to show up as his best self when he had a prior relationship with the people in the room. He began to reach out to people who were going to be in the meeting ahead of time. A virtual coffee, asking a question on Slack, looking them up on LinkedIn to see if they had common interests or backgrounds. This eased my Client’s tension and freeze response once the meeting came around.

    Learning how to manage your “sticky situations” can have ripple effects, allowing you to be your best self both professionally and personally.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • Soph-what?

    My older son is a sophomore in high school, but I had never heard of the term sophrology until recently. The word sophrology comes from the Greek words sos (harmonious and serene), phren (consciousness), and logos (the science of or to study). Essentially, sophrology is the science of consciousness in harmony. In practical terms, sophrology includes some mental and physical exercises, like a guided visualization meditation and gentle movement. 

    Even before the pandemic, 83% of Americans stressed over at least one work-related issue. That equates to 8 out of 10 of your coworkers stressing about work! Layer on the pandemic, and it’s no wonder people are experiencing mental health strains. 

    Below is a 2-3 minute visualization exercise that can change your state of mind dramatically. If you want someone to guide you through a meditation, I teach a free 25-minute guided meditation on the first Wednesday of every month that includes a similar visualization. Sign up here.

    Visualizing Happiness Exercise: 

    1. Close your eyes and think of a place, real or imagined, that brings you happiness.

    2. Visualize the sounds, smells, look, and feel of this place.

    3. Inhale and imagine breathing in calm waves of serenity.

    4. Exhale and allow the good feelings to wash over your body.

    Scheduling in sophrology-type practices can mitigate a stress response, attain the calm needed to respond skillfully to others, and help prevent burnout. BUT you must PLAN to do it. It is experiential, so you must participate in the practices, not just read about them! I suggest putting a recurring appointment on your calendar right now to “RECHARGE”. You won’t be sorry.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • Cultivate your habit garden

    Even with over a foot of snow this week in Denver, I have SPRING on the mind. Thoughts of spring cleaning and renewal are bubbling to the surface. Spring is a time of rebirth, not only for all the plant life around us, but for our thought processes, systems, and habits. It’s the perfect time of year to clear out anything that isn’t working for us and bring in something new.

    When it comes to HABITS, there are two flavors: 

    • NEGATIVE habit: something you want to STOP doing

    • POSITIVE habit: something you want to START doing

    An image I’ve found helpful for habits is that of a garden in the spring. Old negative habits are the weeds you need to remove to allow the new growth to take hold. Smoking, nail biting, overindulging, too much social media, really any behavior you want to decrease or eliminate can all be thought of as weeds that need to be pulled regularly. 

    New positive habits can be thought of as seeds to be planted. Once the seed is in the soil, it needs to be tended to and nourished until it is established and blossoms. Chewing gum over reaching for a cigarette, filing and painting your nails regularly to keep from chewing on them, and setting screen time limits can all be thought of as new seeds to be planted.

    It is the same with habits. First, identify and stop negative habits (pull the weeds). Next, set an intention for a positive habit (plant the seed). Finally, nurture and track the habit until it is established as part of your routine. 

    Culling the negative habits and planting new habits will lead to a beautiful spring habit garden.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • Overcome weakness with the 3 D’s

    Our culture emphasizes perfection, but everyone has WEAKNESSES. I define weakness as any activity that is draining (e.g., back-to-back zoom calls for some people) or where you don’t feel strong (e.g., networking or public speaking for some people).

    Some of my many weaknesses include: getting distracted by the shiny new project or idea, focusing on the task more than the relationship when facing a deadline, letting go of control, completing the administrative tasks of running a business, and doing the last 10% of a project so it is fully complete.

    Here is my key message on weaknesses: think about how much TIME you are spending on your weaknesses. If it’s more than 50% of your day, then you are probably feeling incredibly drained and not super successful. This week, try incorporating the 3 D’s: 

    1. Dump it

      • Do you really need to do the task? Can you skip the meeting and get an update afterwards? 

    2. Delegate it

      • Can someone else do the task? What’s a weakness for you, may be a strength for someone else.  You may just be helping the career of someone who reports to you by allowing them to take on new tasks. 

    3. Do it differently

      • Is there another way? We all get stuck in our habitual ways of getting work done. Notably, when  shifting from a “doer” role to a leadership role, it’s hard to envision anyone doing it differently than your way.  Instead, try outsourcing, hiring more people, stacking tasks, or even using one of your strengths to get the task done with more joy and perhaps more efficiently.

    It’s okay to admit what you’re not great at – your weaknesses do NOT define who you are. Intentionally doing fewer tasks in your weakness categories can, in fact, help you. So the next time you feel your energy or motivation get zapped at the mere thought of doing a task that is a weakness of yours, try one of the 3 D’s: Dump it, delegate it, do it differently.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • The resilient human

    I’m curious – has your week gone exactly as planned? If you said yes, then I would guess that you are not truly planning out your day or are in denial. The ability to be ready to effectively respond to life’s challenges, whether minor ones such as not having an ingredient for a meal, or more serious ones like a loved one’s illness, is referred to as one’s resilience.

    Are you easily kicked off balance by unexpected things? Do you struggle to be present in interactions, or find it challenging to keep emotions under control? If so, you could likely use a booster in resiliency skills.

    Reut Schwartz-Hebron, a former Army Lieutenant turned author and trainer, teaches people the neuroscience of resilience, which is a fancy way of saying she uses science-backed methods to show people how to build resilience. Her approach aligns with mine, in that she teaches both quick fixes when in the moment of stress, as well as the longer term habits to build a foundation of resilience.

    Some highlights include:

    • In the moment resiliency: See things as they are. Park your expectations and bring a non-judgemental sense of curiosity to the situation. Accepting things as they are without resenting that the situation isn’t different is a great first step. Simple, but not easy.

    • Long term resiliency foundation:

      • Build fungible vs. domain-specific skills: fungible skills can be applied in a variety of situations whereas domain-specific skills are not transferable easily as they specify “if x happens, do Y”. For example, when you are feeling triggered, noticing where you feel the discomfort in your body is a fungible skill.

      • Practice accepting that more than one “truth” is possible. How might “A” and “B” be possible? Can the seemingly contradicting truths co-exist? Practice seeing the full complexity of an issue, building your tolerance for uncertainty, and responding in a flexible way.

    Like a muscle, the more you practice these resiliency skills, the stronger you will get at them. Eventually, your brain will literally rewire the way it responds to life’s challenges. If you are interested in learning more, join the Neuroscience & Difficult Change group on LinkedIn that Reut and I are part of: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/13725904/

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn