Huwork

Category: Work-Life Integration

  • Manage your sticky situations

    Business management pioneer Peter Drucker’s philosophy was “before you can manage anyone else, you have to manage yourself first.” I come across this so often in leadership coaching sessions, that I refer to it as a person’s “sticky situations.” Sticky situations are ones where you are not showing up as your best self, ones where you feel stuck, and ones that unfortunately repeat themselves. 

    Some sticky situations I have heard from Clients recently include: getting stuck when pitching an idea to senior leadership, not stepping up to make a decision when the boss isn’t in the room, and keeping emotions in check when being asked hard questions about the team’s performance.  

    These sticky situations hold my Clients back from being the leader, team member, and human they have the potential to be. Here’s one process I utilize in Client sessions to get to the other side of these sticky situations:

    1. Identify your most prominent sticky situation 

    2. Identify the opposite situation, where you are “flowing” and able to show up as your best self

    3. Understand the parameters that allow you be your best self

    4.  Recreate those parameters for your sticky situations

    For example, if a sticky situation for you is pitching an idea to senior leadership, think of times when you are able to pitch your idea with full confidence and charisma. For one client, he realized he was able to show up as his best self when he had a prior relationship with the people in the room. He began to reach out to people who were going to be in the meeting ahead of time. A virtual coffee, asking a question on Slack, looking them up on LinkedIn to see if they had common interests or backgrounds. This eased my Client’s tension and freeze response once the meeting came around.

    Learning how to manage your “sticky situations” can have ripple effects, allowing you to be your best self both professionally and personally.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • Soph-what?

    My older son is a sophomore in high school, but I had never heard of the term sophrology until recently. The word sophrology comes from the Greek words sos (harmonious and serene), phren (consciousness), and logos (the science of or to study). Essentially, sophrology is the science of consciousness in harmony. In practical terms, sophrology includes some mental and physical exercises, like a guided visualization meditation and gentle movement. 

    Even before the pandemic, 83% of Americans stressed over at least one work-related issue. That equates to 8 out of 10 of your coworkers stressing about work! Layer on the pandemic, and it’s no wonder people are experiencing mental health strains. 

    Below is a 2-3 minute visualization exercise that can change your state of mind dramatically. If you want someone to guide you through a meditation, I teach a free 25-minute guided meditation on the first Wednesday of every month that includes a similar visualization. Sign up here.

    Visualizing Happiness Exercise: 

    1. Close your eyes and think of a place, real or imagined, that brings you happiness.

    2. Visualize the sounds, smells, look, and feel of this place.

    3. Inhale and imagine breathing in calm waves of serenity.

    4. Exhale and allow the good feelings to wash over your body.

    Scheduling in sophrology-type practices can mitigate a stress response, attain the calm needed to respond skillfully to others, and help prevent burnout. BUT you must PLAN to do it. It is experiential, so you must participate in the practices, not just read about them! I suggest putting a recurring appointment on your calendar right now to “RECHARGE”. You won’t be sorry.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • Cultivate your habit garden

    Even with over a foot of snow this week in Denver, I have SPRING on the mind. Thoughts of spring cleaning and renewal are bubbling to the surface. Spring is a time of rebirth, not only for all the plant life around us, but for our thought processes, systems, and habits. It’s the perfect time of year to clear out anything that isn’t working for us and bring in something new.

    When it comes to HABITS, there are two flavors: 

    • NEGATIVE habit: something you want to STOP doing

    • POSITIVE habit: something you want to START doing

    An image I’ve found helpful for habits is that of a garden in the spring. Old negative habits are the weeds you need to remove to allow the new growth to take hold. Smoking, nail biting, overindulging, too much social media, really any behavior you want to decrease or eliminate can all be thought of as weeds that need to be pulled regularly. 

    New positive habits can be thought of as seeds to be planted. Once the seed is in the soil, it needs to be tended to and nourished until it is established and blossoms. Chewing gum over reaching for a cigarette, filing and painting your nails regularly to keep from chewing on them, and setting screen time limits can all be thought of as new seeds to be planted.

    It is the same with habits. First, identify and stop negative habits (pull the weeds). Next, set an intention for a positive habit (plant the seed). Finally, nurture and track the habit until it is established as part of your routine. 

    Culling the negative habits and planting new habits will lead to a beautiful spring habit garden.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • Overcome weakness with the 3 D’s

    Our culture emphasizes perfection, but everyone has WEAKNESSES. I define weakness as any activity that is draining (e.g., back-to-back zoom calls for some people) or where you don’t feel strong (e.g., networking or public speaking for some people).

    Some of my many weaknesses include: getting distracted by the shiny new project or idea, focusing on the task more than the relationship when facing a deadline, letting go of control, completing the administrative tasks of running a business, and doing the last 10% of a project so it is fully complete.

    Here is my key message on weaknesses: think about how much TIME you are spending on your weaknesses. If it’s more than 50% of your day, then you are probably feeling incredibly drained and not super successful. This week, try incorporating the 3 D’s: 

    1. Dump it

      • Do you really need to do the task? Can you skip the meeting and get an update afterwards? 

    2. Delegate it

      • Can someone else do the task? What’s a weakness for you, may be a strength for someone else.  You may just be helping the career of someone who reports to you by allowing them to take on new tasks. 

    3. Do it differently

      • Is there another way? We all get stuck in our habitual ways of getting work done. Notably, when  shifting from a “doer” role to a leadership role, it’s hard to envision anyone doing it differently than your way.  Instead, try outsourcing, hiring more people, stacking tasks, or even using one of your strengths to get the task done with more joy and perhaps more efficiently.

    It’s okay to admit what you’re not great at – your weaknesses do NOT define who you are. Intentionally doing fewer tasks in your weakness categories can, in fact, help you. So the next time you feel your energy or motivation get zapped at the mere thought of doing a task that is a weakness of yours, try one of the 3 D’s: Dump it, delegate it, do it differently.

    Warmly, 

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    Click here if you were forwarded this email and would like to sign up to receive my emails. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • How Do You Start Your Day?

    Wow – June is here with a bang, but wish it was more like fun fireworks than fists flying. As my husband joked last night, Covid-19 thanks the riots for shifting our nation’s focus.

    But in all seriousness, we are letting time and opportunity pass us by if we don’t take time to reflect individually and collectively. And not just when there are news-worthy events, but I humbly suggest setting up DAILY reflection time with predetermined questions for yourself…to lay the foundation with everyday life, to build your reflection muscle, and to build a practice you can rely on when life goes sideways (because it will for each of us at times in our life).

      

    As a mentor of mine shared, daily reflection is “where the gold is”. Taking even 5 minutes to reflect every morning and evening allows us to adjust, adapt, and pivot our mindsets and actions. And life your life INTENTIONALLY.

    Your reflection questions will be unique to you, because as much as I make up stories about everyone I meet, I can’t know what is important to you. But in the spirit of sharing, here is a subset of my AM reflection questions. The AM reflection questions are always forward looking. I do an AM reflection every weekday (even I give myself a break on the weekends.) This takes 5 minutes, and you WILL figure out a way to squeeze it in IF YOU COMMIT TO IT…meaning if you commit to YOURSELF.

    Bijal’s AM reflection questions:

    1. What am I committed to today? (Today for Bijal: taking a deep breath when I feel outrage/sadness about current events, turning off electronics by 8pm, and being intentional about getting out in nature for my mental and physical well-being.)

     

    1. What small everyday decisions can I make to live up to that commitment and live a life I am proud of? (Today for Bijal: acknowledging my feelings, setting reminders to take a deep breath every hour, setting limits for email, social media, so I don’t go down a rabbit hole of topics that are interesting to me but will take me away from my commitments today; taking at least 2 calls from my backyard.)

     

    1. What am I looking forward to today? (Today for Bijal: watching a movie with my 12 year old son about a dog being the mayor of a town at 4:30pm. But sometimes if I’m being honest with myself that’s it’s going to be a sucky day, I have to intentionally add something to look forward to, even if it’s just a frothy matcha latte at 11am.)

     

    What would you add or change with my questions to fit YOU? I would love to see your list and hear your thoughts on an AM reflection. And I’ll share ideas for PM reflections in the next email.

     

  • Leaders: It’s Possible To Live A Life Of Healthy Habits (And Keep Up With Other Demands Too)

  • 15 Activities Or Hobbies You Can Do To Help Keep Yourself Centered

  • How To Manage Critical Thoughts And Accept Yourself

  • Tired Of Saying ‘Yes’ All The Time? Here’s How To Get Comfortable Saying ‘No’