Huwork

Author: admin

  • Letting go of your false identity

    Not to be obvious but one’s IDENTITY is so personal, so UNIQUE to each of us, like our fingerprints. What may NOT be so obvious is that people MAKE CHOICES THAT ALIGN WITH THEIR IDENTITY.

    ALL DAY LONG, YOU ARE CONSCIOUSLY AND UNCONSCIOUSLY MAKING CHOICES THAT ALIGN WITH YOUR IDENTITY.

    What do I mean by that? Let’s say one of your IDENTITIES is being a peacekeeper, for family members, co-workers, friends. Then you likely will not choose behaviors that will provoke people around you. You may hold back your ideas and choices because you may fear how they will land with others. And then that has the unintended consequence of others believing you are a small thinker, when really you have these big bold ideas.

    So if you find yourself making poor choices (ahem food, drink, movement, relationships, career, wealth, mindset), CONSIDER YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT YOUR IDENTITY. Are you of two minds related to that area of your life? E.g., “I want to be healthy” AND “I need the quick hit of satisfaction from my afternoon sugar-filled snack.” Those two ideas don’t really align – they are IN CONFLICT. Which will lead to conflict in your life related to that area of your life. 

    BUT if you can align your identity with the positive outcome you are striving for…VOILA! Now your mind will take that identity as marching orders and align itself up to that GOAL. It doesn’t even matter if it is 100% true yet. For example, with food, it’s less strenuous on your willpower to refuse that brownie if your identity is “I am a healthy eater.”

    To break it down, here are the steps:

    1.     Identify where there are BEHAVIORS in your life you wish to change. “Eat healthier.”

    2.     To resolve that conflict, consider what you want your IDENTITY to be as it relates to that behavior. “I am a healthy eater.”

    3.     Then BUILD YOUR BELIEFS AROUND THAT IDENTITY. Literally state your beliefs to yourself. This will send direct marching orders to your mind. Your mind will receive that INFORMATION like a blueprint and the actions you want will be easier. E.g.,

    –        Food close to nature nourishes my body, mind, and soul.

    –        Big pharma does not care about my health.

    –        Processed food will harm my health.

    –        Simple foods are better for me than overly complicated ones where I don’t know what went into the dish.

    TAKEAWAY: By deliberately crafting your identity and beliefs, you will be less likely to take mindless actions that are not serving you, and more easily choose those that do. Your mind will automatically ALIGN to uphold your IDENTITY and BELIEFS. Try it. It’s POWERFUL.

    Would LOVE to hear about how you might apply the above concept to areas of your life. Drop me a quick note or text. And I’ll continue to keep 3-20 minute slots open on my calendar each week for this community if you want to talk through applying any of the models and concepts I’ve been sharing in these emails.

    Take good care,

    Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    October offer: Buy a package of 6 coaching sessions and receive an additional session + my 5-week online course on finding your unique strengths for free. This is a tremendous offer and is open to individuals and teams.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    bijal@huworkteam.com

    Let’s chat! Schedule a brainstorming session with me here

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • 12 Straightforward Ways To Stay Engaged When Working Remotely

  • Building trust in digital workplaces

    Are you finding it harder to build TRUST AND COLLABORATION in our now 100% digital work world? Even before the pandemic, about 70% of collaboration happened virtually, through email, phone calls, etc. Now with non-stop video meetings, you have so many fewer CUES for your brain to interpret. You generally can’t see BODY LANGUAGE on video calls, just someone’s face and sometimes even that is pretty small when in gallery view. With our digital world, it’s even more important to be THOUGHTFUL about how you are interacting with colleagues to build and maintain trust and true collaboration.

    A few typical problems I’m hearing from clients and ideas to help:

    Issue #1: NO REAL COLLABORATION: In a meeting, know that once the 1st extrovert has given his opinion, it’s less likely that subsequent speakers will share a different viewpoint. To make sure you are getting diversity of thought, ask a question and then ask participants to put initial thoughts in the chat. To take it a step further, ask the person whose opinion was in the minority to elaborate. You can also let people know that they can follow up with you via email until the end of the week if they had other ideas come up. This allows the introverts to feel comfortable contributing.

    Issue #2: RADIO SILENCE FROM A STAKEHOLDER (colleague, client, vendor, etc): Be aware that some individuals are TECHNOLOGY NATIVES who are very comfortable using various modes of virtual communication; and others are TECHNOLOGY ADAPTERS who tend to prefer phone calls. This is not always based on age, as I know people older than me who are proficient with social media and other forms of virtual communication and younger individuals who are not comfortable with it. Choose the COMMUNICATION VEHICLE that most resonates with the person you are trying to connect with.

    Issue #3: MISINTERPRETED MESSAGES: THINK BEFORE YOU TYPE and try to be super clear with your message. This is especially important if you are leading a team – any request made via email, IM, or text may be interpreted as urgent by team members. Come up with your shorthand during this virtual work period; perhaps “4h” for 4-hour turnaround or “2D” for a 2-day deadline included in the subject line to help LEVEL SET EXPECTATIONS. Also be thoughtful about emoji and punctuation use. Did you know a period at the end of a text can be interpreted as standoffish? An exclamation mark can be misinterpreted as screaming when you really meant to show excitement? And a smiley emoji when used by a person in power can show warmth, but if used by someone without authority can come off as childish? These are not hard and fast rules, but be thoughtful about how your message will land. 😀

    Take good care, Bijal

    The intent of these emails is to provide different perspectives, ideas, and insights as you navigate the path forward for yourself, your team, your organization, and your family.

    October offer: Buy a package of 6 coaching sessions and receive an additional session + my 5-week online course on finding your unique strengths for free. This is a tremendous offer and is open to individuals and teams.

    Bijal Choksi, MA, CHPC, ACC

    720.339.3021 | bijal@huworkteam.com

    Let’s chat! Schedule a brainstorming session with me here

    Follow HuWork on LinkedIn

  • Shifting Roles

    Do you ever wonder when something (a name, an author, a situation) SHOWS UP REPEATEDLY in your life, if there’s a MESSAGE you need to hear? Completely coincidentally, my business partners and I realized on a call this week that we are all reading or listening to books by the author Ann Patchett: The Dutch House, State of Wonder, and Truth & Beauty. What are the CHANCES of that?

    There’s another book by Ann that I think about monthly if not weekly since reading it years ago in a book club: Bel Canto. The main takeaway for me from this book: HOW ONE’S ROLE AND EVEN PERSONALITY CAN SHIFT DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION. 

    Background: There is a powerful businessman in the book, who is well respected and used to having authority. However, during a hostage situation, it is not him who takes charge or was really in the center of the situation. Another hostage, someone not so powerful in regular society, steps up and plays an integral role.  

    What about YOU? Where in your life do you STEP IT UP? And where do you shift your personality, even your energy? Is that SERVING you? Where you are COMPARTMENTALIZING? Is that SERVING you? 

    What are the CIRCUMSTANCES when your BEST SELF emerges, and what are the situations where the opposite happens? 

    What is your VISION for how you want to show up in life?

    These are heavy questions, with no “one and done” answer. But exploring them will provide INSIGHT. Which in turn will naturally lead to exploring, “What would be BETTER?”  

    There is power in understanding and having CLARITY about yourself.  

    And you don’t have to go it alone figuring it all out. It can be easier to explore in conversation and when you have time slotted for it on your schedule. If you haven’t already done so, take advantage of my free office hours being offered to support my community. Wednesdays 10-11am MT. Sign uprequired. Or email me to set up a 20-minutes exploratory 1:1 call.

    It’s not too late to win 2020.  

    Regardless of what is going on in the world outside of your control, you can INFLUENCE how you SHOW UP, and how you treat others. And that’s no small accomplishment. 

    Warmly,

    Bijal

  • Don’t Be Blind Sighted

    Difficult situations show up no matter who you are. It doesn’t matter if you are at the top of your field, leading a team, or starting an exciting project. Inevitably, you WILL FACE A TOUGH SITUATION. Let’s be honest, not one but MANY tough situations.

    Are you prepared? Or will you flail like my puppy Enzo did when he jumped in a pool, while attempting to get to safer ground?

    Just like it’s not a good idea to wait until a medical emergency to find a trusted physician, don’t wait until hard situations are upon you to come up with your general FRAMEWORK for dealing with a sucky situation (my technical term).

    I offer up this framework from Ryan Holiday, an author whose books I’ve been reading during an exploration into stoicism (which turns out has nothing to do with having a stoic, unfeeling personality luckily.) Ryan’s approach to a difficult situation: 

    1)    MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS: be REALISTIC. Don’t get carried away with how you think things SHOULD be. And let go of the “perfect” outcome. Have FAITH that what will happen will be in service of your growth.

    2)    ELIMINATE FEAR: shore up your COURAGE; don’t slither away like a garden snake. You’ve dealt with hard problems in the past and you’ll get through this too. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

    3)    REMOVE PREJUDICE: this is so relevant to current societal discussions – broad prejudice, but one can also hold prejudice against specific situations, people, & interactions. TAKE TIME TO IDENTIFY YOUR PREJUDICE AND ACTIVELY REMOVE IT FOR THE SITUATION. 

    And one step I would add to Ryan’s:

    4)    UPGRADE YOUR MINDSET: Think positively about the people involved in your situation. Wish them well. What can you appreciate about them, no matter how small? I just read a study showing the positive impact on a people’s sense of well-being when they mentally wish others well. And ultimately, IF YOU ARE IN A BETTER MENTAL STATE, YOU’LL BE ABLE TO APPROACH THE SITUATION WITH THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF. 

    Of course, knowing a framework is one thing, but remembering it IN THE MOMENT, when you are triggered & stressed about a situation is the hard part. If it resonates, I encourage you to copy and paste this framework wherever you keep your notes. Modify it to meet your needs. Then when you have an awareness that an upcoming situation may be tough, you can easily refer back to it. This framework has done wonders to press the brakes on my unhelpful anticipatory thoughts that get in the way of my relationships, projects, and forward progress. 

    Try it out and let me know how it goes.

    Warmly,

    Bijal

    ANNOUNCEMENTS: Check out HuWork’s first online course “Lean into Strengths”. This 5-week course will walk you through how to find your edge, your comparative advantage relative to other people. What makes you really stand out and how will you use that to your benefit? The introductory price is $49 through September.  

    For those that ordered the InnerBalance biofeedback tool, they are back in stock! Email me to set up a time to get trained.

  • Touching Tributes

    “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” – Brené Brown

    I lost my father one year ago yesterday. There have been a lot of tough days since then, but a silver lining has been learning firsthand the beautiful ceremonies the Indian culture has when someone passes, including singing, speeches, and monthly family get togethers for the first year. 

    Last night, we held a large extended friends and family zoom (61 participants!), where I said a few words. It was a tribute to my father about his best qualities and how they might serve as life lessons for all of us. (I can see my kids rolling their eyes, moaning “why does everything have to be a life lesson?”.) I spoke about my dad’s ability to accept people as they are, his courage, his ability to see the positive in situations, and his endless reservoir of love. 

    Isn’t it curious that we write and say beautiful words about loved ones, after they are gone. But what about those we love WHO ARE STILL HERE? What if we took time to write out a tribute to the person still in front of us? And then say it to them. (Brené Brown, I’m feeling vulnerable…)  

    I’ll channel my dad’s courage and share the tribute I wrote this morning for my mom: 

    “Mom, you have this beautiful ability to weather the storms of your life. You have taught me to accept life as it is. To find joy in small things every day, to take time to rest when we need it, to take care of our loved ones when they need it, to find a cause and support it with time and money. And your imitation of people’s voices and mannerisms is unexpected and hilarious.” 

    Now YOUR TURN. 

    · Step 1: Write a short note getting to the core strengths, values, qualities of someone close to you. 

    · Step 2: Add a calendar item on your schedule for when you will say it to your person. 

    · Step 3: Just do it!

    And even if I don’t know your person, I’d love to read your note and share your beautiful words. Email or text me. Know that I debated whether to share such a tender moment from my life in this email, but the vulnerable stories many of you have shared in response to my previous emails pushed me to be vulnerable myself. Brené Brown, I hope you are proud.

    Warmly,

    Bijal

    ANNOUNCEMENTS: We are happy to announce that HuWork has launched its first online course “Lean into Strengths”. This 5-week course will walk you through how to find your edge, i.e., your comparative advantage relative to other people. What makes you really stand out and how will you use that to your benefit? ENROLLMENT IS FREE UNTIL 9pm MT tonight. If someone you know might benefit from this course, you can forward this email so they can take advantage of the offer. After a workshop on strengths this Thursday, the official introductory price will be $49 through September.  

  • 13 Practical Ways To Forgo Fear And Beat Procrastination

  • Share Your Gifts

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” – Marianne Williamson

    Do you find yourself holding back? At work, in conversations, in relationships? Do you feel you are “TOO MUCH” at times? Too strong, too opinionated, too motivated, too (fill in the blank)? Sometimes we are afraid of SUCCESS on some level – will my friends think I’m pompous, what will my family think, will I continue to fit in with my friend group and work peers, what will happen if I rock the boat at work, will my boss feel threatened, and on and on. 

    What will it take for you to STEP into your true being and your GREATNESS?  

    I want to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone AT LEAST ONCE A DAY and stop living on autopilot. Share your gifts with the world. How?

    1) GET CLARITY: Don’t get too comfortable. What’s it going to take to get clearer on your vision? Sometimes we have a vision, but we haven’t allowed it space. We get too distracted by the tedious activities of the day, like responding to others’ needs, emails, checking off the to-do list. Without sugar-coating it, we allow ourselves to stay BUSY and fool ourselves that we are moving towards our vision.

    2) FIND YOUR WHY: Tap into intrinsic values. Why is it important for you to fulfill your vision at this point in your career and life? 

    3) GET MOTIVATED: Some individuals find they are more motivated by moving away from pain – that can be a great motivator especially in the short-term. But moving towards a positive goal will lead to more joy. While the human brain is wired to move away from threats, we have the ability to intentionally flip that tendency and move towards a positive outcome. 

    4) GET OUT OF THE WAY: Be honest with yourself for a moment: do you have one foot on the brake? What will it take to go full throttle towards your vision? What do you need to remove from your life, and what do you need to add? What small, hard choices and actions outside of your comfort zone do you need to make to support your vision?

    5) WHAT SUPPORT DO YOU NEED? It doesn’t mean more if you do it alone. It just means more stress, more hardship. Who will be your accountability partners, mentors, supporters? 

    Remember, YOU ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. But no one steps into their greatness alone. Know that I am here to support you. If you want to brainstorm an aspect of your career or how you show up in life, find a 20-minute block with me here.

  • Do More, Accomplish More

    During this time of social distancing and WFH, more clients than ever are struggling with MOTIVATION. Most of them have identified goals, like losing 15 pounds or taking on a bigger role at work. But they are struggling to take ACTION.

    Does this resonate at all? If you are honest with yourself, are you doing the HARD WORK needed to make your goals a REALITY, or are you hoping for a stroke of luck, or for someone to notice that you are the right person for the role, promotion, client? Or that you will miraculously lose those 15 pounds? 

    You can let life happen to you, or you can take ACTION to get the outcomes you want.

    Sometimes, you may view taking an ACTION as too risky. Other times as seeming too pushy. Or maybe you are just feeling overwhelmed. And I’ve been there too – feeling overwhelmed, or that I didn’t have just the perfect set of skills. The voice in my head telling me, “Who am I to say something, do something, take a chance?” Or you may think, “things aren’t so bad the way they are.” But sometimes the STATUS QUO CAN SUCK YOUR LIFE FORCE, slowly but surely.  

    That’s why I’m here to remind you to take ACTION, if you are serious about achieving a goal.  

    Or maybe you already are taking actions to get from point A to point B. Then it’s time to ask yourself: WHAT MORE COULD I BE DOING? You know, that action that gives you butterflies in your stomach. That step that you don’t really let yourself think about because it feels too big, too scary. 

    ISN’T IT TIME YOU REALLY WENT FOR IT? Made that call, talked with your boss, took that course, approached that person, interviewed for the dream role? Push yourself past your comfort zone, even if just slightly. DO MORE, AND YOU WILL ACCOMPLISH MORE.

     If you need support in really going for it, know that I provide all my coaching clients a safe space to discuss goals, actions, support needed, accountability. To start living their life COURAGEOUSLY. I have their backs, and I can for you too. Schedule your 20-minute intro call here.

    I’ll leave you with this quote: “We must learn to explore all the options and possibilities that confront us in a complex and rapidly changing world. We must learn to welcome and not to fear the voices of dissent. We must dare to think about unthinkable things because when things become unthinkable, thinking stops and action becomes mindless.” — J. William Fulbright

  • How Do You Know If You Are Right?

    Generally speaking, by default humans get caught in the trap of CONFIRMATION BIAS. That is, seeing people’s actions, having experiences, viewing social media posts (you know what I’m talkin’ about!) that all point in one direction, affirming our worldview. It’s like our eyes have special lenses that filter out that which does not fit with our opinion of a person, a situation, work, or any other topic.

    Sure there’s some EGO-CENTERED COMFORT in affirming our opinion (“Ha! I’m right! I knew it!), but it limits us from experiencing the full range of what is REALLY happening in the world around us.

    I had a person tell me a couple of years ago, “You know, the first time I saw you, I wasn’t even sure you spoke English.” He wasn’t joking. Maybe in his worldview, a person with brown skin is likely a recent immigrant who probably does not speak English? Wow! And never mind the fact that later I found out that his late father’s doctor was of Indian descent and had numerous interactions with his son IN ENGLISH.

    When you find yourself SO SURE about your worldview, I invite you to ask yourself “WHAT IF THAT WASN’T TRUE?”. And work on decreasing your confirmation bias. You might be surprised by what you find out. 

    Take good care,